WEASELS RIP MY FLESH
The good folks at Image Entertainment decided to give the nearly legendary WEASELS RIP MY FLESH the deluxe treatment and polish it up for release, which if you think about it is pretty remarkable for a super 8mm film from the seventies that's not porn. They also released a couple of others from director Nathan Schiff, the awesomely titled THEY DON'T CUT THE GRASS ANYMORE and THE LONG ISLAND CANNIBAL MASSACRE. Netflix has all three. But are they any good? Yeah, sure. They're at least as entertaining as those boring super 8 flicks that were pretentious and had all the scuzzy New York people in them that looked like junkies with cystic acne and the last stages of A.I.D.S. You know, the ones Film Threat went on and on about back in the mid-80's.
So a rocket comes back from space and explodes. Some kids find a can of space goo and stick it in a weasel hole. The resulting weasel monster gets hit by a car. A cop shaves and smokes at the same time. The guy who hit the weasel takes its severed arm home but it attacks him and gives him weasel space rabies. So far, pretty ambitious for some kid with a super 8 camera and a few bucks, right? The cops investigate some weasel related deaths but end up getting captured and taken to an underground bunker where weasel research is being conducted. I was nearly dozing off but I think the weasel was really a gerbil. Apparently the weasel monster is immortal and can be used for world domination. Everybody except the kids have mustaches. Everybody including the kids look like they stepped out of a casting call for a combination Joe Spinell family reunion snuff film. It exhibits all the qualities one normally associates with super 8, but it actually looks pretty good. The ending is mind blowing and you won't see it coming. The gore effects are crude yet funny. The monster is not very weasel-like yet still hilarious. As with all things in life it could've used some tits, but I'll forgive the kid for not having them in his picture. I mean I doubt this Schiff kid was a Parker Stevenson lookalike who could get chicks to drop their tops for free or he wouldn't be off dicking around with his weasel movie. It clocks in at sixty four minutes which is a good thing. I kept thinking the potheads at Adult Swim should show it on April 1st for laughs. I think the dicks at imdb who ragged on this flick are a whiny, cunty lot. Does it make you feel smart to point out that the super 8 flick looks cheap? You dicks.
Wait a second, I forgot the weirdly poignant narration at the beginning. It really makes you think about stuff. And weasels.
