TERROR DOWN UNDER- ROGUE and RAZORBACK

ROGUE

Greg McClean follows up WOLF CREEK with a crocodile movie, R0GUE. Man, sure seems like I've seen a lot of croc movies lately, especially since the Sci-fi channel has its own croc block with CROCODILE, CROCODILE 2: DEATHROLL, CROC, DINOCROC, LAKE PLACID 2 and BLOOD SURF as well as the pretty good Australian made BLACK WATER. That's not counting my nightly viewings of CROCODILE BLONDEE and the wonderful "Uncle Croc's Block" (google it). So how does ROGUE stand up? It's better than LAKE PLACID 2. Seriously. Even without John Schneider.

It's a fairly small and tight picture, telling the story of a tourist boat's encounter with one big croc. Radha Mitchell is the tour guide, Michael Vartan is the guy and there's cancer lady,worthless guy,girl,a variety of assholes, and worthless lady. The boat sets out, gets attacked and is grounded on a tidal island. Croc's in the water and the island is sinking as the tide rolls in. They try to come up with a plan and there's the usual bickering and selfish behavior. There's a dog too. The whole thing takes place over a day and night.

Along with BLACK WATER, it's the most realistic of the killer croc pictures. The photography is great, the croc effects are great, the actors are fine but for me it's missing something, something I call "exploitation". I was hoping for the croc equivalent to JAWS but this flick is a lot more reality based, it's more an animal on the rampage action film than a monster movie. The croc is huge and aggressive but he acts pretty much like a real croc would. Despite being a big studio film, JAWS was the equivalent of a Roger Corman flick in a lot of ways. The shark was a monster as opposed to a wild animal. It's not McClean's fault that I wanted crazy croc action ,a bigger body count, chicks in bikinis and less realism. I suppose all the years of Animal Planet have taken away some of the mystery of the various man-eater animals so maybe audiences won't buy the unrealistic yet action filled carnage of flicks like ALLIGATOR. I really liked the tension McClean cranked up in the lair sequence however. There was some grumbling that Dimension should've released this to theaters in the U.S. instead of on the Dimension Extreme dvd label. Well, it wouldn't have made much coin and it's not very extreme either, especially since Dimension Extreme has released bloody messes like INSIDE and FRONTIERS. I suppose if you want a well crafted, intelligent movie about a croc then it will work for you. But if you continually find yourself thinking what the Italian knock off of PAN'S LABYRINTH would be like ( Asia Argento, more blood, less gay) then you should keep looking.

RAZORBACK

Director Russell Mulcahey pretty much set the visual look of the music video for years so I suppose he was the natural choice to make a movie about a giant killer pig on the loose in the outback, what with his "wild boys" and the exceedingly porcine Elton John experiences. Mulcahey does manage to deliver a pretty cool, stylish creature feature that for some reason seems to have vanished in the States, at least in the dvd era.

Using the famous dingo murder case as a jumping off point, the story begins with a young child being snatched by the killer pig while being watched by his Granpa Jake. Nobody believes old Jake that it was a giant razorback, even after he is cleared in court. He then becomes a Aussie Quint with a hard on for killing pork. Mmmmm pork. Anyway, an American reporter/animal activist goes where she doesn't belong to investigate the kangaroo based dog food industry. Why? I have no fucking idea. I always thought kangaroos were like large hopping rats that boxed occasionally. She crosses paths with the enchanting Dicko and Benny, two completely scummy roo shooters who work for PetPack, a local dog food company. These guys are awesome and are basically the Aussie version of Ed Neal's hitchhiker from TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, but more "rapey". They shoot at each other for fun and run over dogs as a punchline. While raping Beth the Reporter, the razorback cock blocks the party by eating her. Now the story shifts to her husband (Gregory Harrison) as he arrives from America and sets out to find out what happened to his wife. He manages to go on a night roo hunt with Dicko and Benny as they are unaware he is the missing woman's husband. Dicko and Benny's camp is straight out of TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 but with better lighting and photography-lots of carcasses, dirt, shit hanging from the ceiling, Barry Manilow posters, three legged dogs, all in all very Toe-Cutter meets the Lord Humongus. You get the feeling that Dicko and Benny consider forced sodomy and bestiality a laugh riot. Harrison doesn't hold his mud on the hunt and is left by our boys in the eerie outback, which through Dean Semler's cinematography becomes a character itself. Harrison stumbles around in what appears to be an alien dream world, finally taking refuge in a windmill where he has a nightmare full of symbolism and a bizarre animal skeleton. The giant hog itself is seldom scene but pretty effective when he does appear, especially during the climax in which the hog, Dicko and Benny and Harrison all violently collide. Man, I really like this picture. It just shows what you can do with the basic JAWS formula if you have some visual flair and some gumption. This would make a great double feature paired with Richard Stanley's DUST DEVIL. With all the press Hogzilla has gotten in the past few years, I expect a ScFi channel giant pig movie any day, although I doubt it will be as visually striking or have Dicko and Benny.