It's Alive, the trilogy
As soon as my wife and I found out we were having a baby I knew it was time to revisit Larry Cohen's monster-baby-triple-threat of IT'S ALIVE films (74, 78, 87). I'm sure most G'naut readers are familiar with the first film, so I'll be quick...
It's the mid 70s, a time where leading men like John P. Ryan (he was Hardcore in SHAMUS...but you might remember him as Mr. O'Rourke in THREE O'CLOCK HIGH) were cast in films because they were over 35 and and anything but pretty. Everyone drank to excess, smoked like trains, ate like shit, and self medicated like there was no tomorrow. It's no wonder women started giving birth to deformed monsters that could kill a room full of people and escape through a skylight not 5 minutes out of the womb. I'm sure there's all sorts of social commentary running through IT'S ALIVE, but let's face it, we want monster babies and we want 'em bad.
Rick Baker was not at the top of his game here, but I have to admit, I love me some puppets, and that's exactly what we get. The baby is an awesome rubber lump covered in veins and claws that only an older generation of movie viewers could love. We don't see it very much, but when we do it's everything you want it to be. I can't imagine what a remake of this film would be like...most likely the baby would be all CGI and look something like that dancing baby mixed with Dennis Franz and the music would be by Danny Elfman and not by Bernard Herrmann.
Anyway, the baby kills out of fear and just wants his mommy and daddy to love him. Mom warms up to junior real quick, but dad's not so sure...at first. He agrees to work with the cops, doctors, and pharmaceutical company to bump the baby off so they can study it, but then changes his mind (not before he shoots it) thanks to the bonds only a father and mutant son can have.
The film ends with an amazing chase in the storm drains of L.A. with father and son sharing some special "daddy-buddy time" before the cops put about 20 rounds into little buddy's malformed head.
Which brings us to...IT LIVES AGAIN!
The awesome John P. Ryan is back as Frank Davies, monster baby daddy...and this time, it's personal! After the brutal slaying of his son, Frank and a team of weirdo doctors have put together a kind of Monster Baby Underground Railroad. Sounds crazy, right? Well, not so crazy once I tell you that the government has created a Monster Baby Buster Squad lead by their own Van Helsing type, Mr. Mallory (John Marley from THE GODFATHER)!
Frank has taken to crashing baby showers of expectant monster baby couples to try and save their unborn flesh eaters from total annihilation at the hands of Mr. Mallory and his bloodthirsty bosses. As you might have guessed, most people don't take kindly to the news that there is some sort of government conspiracy to kill their unborn child...their unborn MONSTER child. And that's just the case with Eugene (Frederic Forrest, another only in the 70s type leading man) and his wife Jody (Kathleen Lloyd who is much less annoying here than she was in THE CAR)...They're all "I don't know, weird baby shower crasher guy," and "You should just leave cause you're freaking us out," but they take Frank's card anyway, just in case there really is some sort of secret black ops mission to put down their feral fetus.
Everything gets all bugaboo when Jody goes into labor and Eugene can't get a hold of Frank. You see, Frank's busy checking out his new Mobile Monster Baby Birthing Truck with his pals instead of sitting by his hotel phone, so Eugene makes the decision to have the baby in the hospital despite the fact that it's completely surrounded by cops in riot gear. Seems like there is a conspiracy after all and Jody is whisked away from her husband by evil Mr. Mallory.
Frank shows up with a gun, rescues Jody and Eugene, and takes Mr. Mallory as a hostage. The baby is born in the creepy Birthing Truck, immediately kills one of the doctors, and is eventually locked into a incubator/cage. There's some car switch-a-roos, so monster baby and daddy can be taken to a Monster Baby Safe House while Frank gives himself up to the cops and Jody gets some well needed medical attention.
Meanwhile, at the Monster Baby Safe House, we find out there are two more monster babies, named Adam and Eve. Which is quite fitting since Frank and the creepy doctors believe these babies are the next step in evolution...a superhuman race capable of surviving the increasing pollutions of our planet. And get this, they should be ready for breeding with each other by age 5 or 6...Which is pretty fucking gross if you ask me. The cops and Mr. Mallory agree and things get all crazy with a police raid on the safe house and three monster babies on the loose.
This one has a bit more action than the first film, and it kind of reminded me of Chris Carters' MILLENNIUM at times...you know, mysterious groups, a lone man with a unique talent (Frank has become a Monster Baby Whisperer by this installment), government machinations, monster babies...I can only imagine what's gonna' happen in the third film.
Smiles, everyone...smiles! My dear guests! I am Moon Boy, your host. Welcome...to ISLAND OF THE ALIVE!
It's the 1980s and monster baby birth, while on the decline, is still keeping the government execution squads busy. The movie opens on the highly publicized trail involving out of work actor, Stephen Jarvis and the "assholes" that want to kill "the perversion of everything human" aka Stephen's monster-son. Fortunately for the Jarvis monster and the 4 other monster babies currently in captivity, the judge spares their lives and decides to banish the little freaks to an uninhabited island far away from everyone.
Larry Cohen may be back as writer and director, but ISLAND feels more like a Roger Corman flick than anything else. Even though we get certifiable wack-a-doodle, Michael Moriarty, as our monster baby daddy this go round, something is just not right with the third and final installment of the IT'S ALIVE triology. I usually get a kick out of Moriarty's performances but he goes so far over the line as Stephen Jarvis that I found him to be more annoying than entertaining with his strange line delivery and bizarre ad-libs. Well, I assume he was ad-libbing, but it was tough to tell since everyone had such crappy dialog to work with.
Even though this one appeared to have a larger budget than the first two, the film felt incomplete and kind of cobbled together...even more so than the rest of Larry's movies. I think the biggest problem I had with ISLAND was that it tried too hard to be funny...and failed most of the time. Another let down was the absence of Rick Baker and his rubber babies. Sure, we got a little bit of rubber baby monster action and some entertaining stop motion effects in the beginning but once the babies grow up all we get are some shitty, big headed, Toxic Avenger/Garbage Pail Kid looking rubber suits. Don't get me wrong, I love rubber suits almost as much as I love puppets, but the magic was gone. I think it was due to the fact that it's no longer monster babies doing all the killing, but man sized five year olds in dopey carnival costumes.
Karen Black (ZAPPED AGAIN!) and her freaky face is in this mess along with James Dixon (reprising his role for a third time as Lieutenant Perkins) and his freaky toupee and some Mexican guys as Cubans. Oh yeah, at one point Stephen ends up in Cuba and is jailed as a suspected spy. Unfortunately, we don't spend nearly enough time in Cuba so forget I even mentioned it. The whole story comes full circle as the monster children and their very own monster baby...that's right, kids having kids, the 80s were all sorts of fucked up...escape from their island and return home. More cops, more shooting, monster breastfeeding, punk rockers, death by measles, ESP, blah, blah, blah. The end.
Okay, I guess I'm officially ready for fatherhood. Thanks, Larry Cohen.
Moon Boy