HITMAN
I probably don't have to tell you how much Bwana hates film snobs. You know who I'm talking about. Those people that only watch arthouse cinema, shop exclusively at Whole Foods, eat chinese foods with chopsticks despite being white and in America. They look down at movies ( fuck, they don't even call em movies, it's "cinema") based on popular culture like comic books or video games, instead preferring French movies about cigarette smoking or some depressed douchebag painter. Well HITMAN is not for them. It's for guys who cut their own grass and eat bar-b-q with white bread. And believe it or not, it's directed by a Frenchman, one Xavier Gens. Yeah, I know it surprised me too. Maybe all those race riots did some good.
I never played the game "Hitman" but it seems like the kind of thing I would like, what with the sniping and the Russian whores. Man those Russian chicks are all access if you know what I mean.
HITMAN is about Agent 47, played very cool by Timothy Olyphant, as he goes about killing people and wearing nice suits. Apparently raised from youth by an arcane quasi-religious sect to be an assassin for hire, 47 has been paid to take out the Russian president. At least I think he was president. Pretty quickly we get a nice melon popping head shot, a real Prego Sauce bottle explosion, as 47 hits the target. But apparently it's a set up and 47 has been double crossed. In pursuit is a Interpol agent, played by the equally cool Dougray Scott, who has been tracking 47 around the globe. 47 sets out to find out who set him up, wracking up the kills along the way. Tagging along as a witness to his set up is Nika, the president's whore, played by Olga Kurylenko. Man she is ferociously eurowhore, the kind of chick you'd see in a Rocco Siffredi movie all gaped out. And Gens delivers the nudity in his R-Rated movie so you know he's all right. Gens has a horror flick coming to netflix soon, called FRONTIERE, I'm looking forward to.
Which brings us to Henry Ian Cusick's turn as a Russian arms dealer. Cusick plays Desmond on TV's "lost" for those who came in late. He delivers what may be the worst comical Russian accent ever, depending on how you feel about that "Gilligan's Island" episode where the cosmonauts crash on the island and have the vodka drinking contest. It's true there's nothing ground- breakingly new going on in this picture but what's there is pretty slick and delivers a good time. Timothy Olyphant is excellent as 47 and seems to toss in some sardonic wit to what could be in other hands not be nearly as entertaining. Dougray Scott is one of those guys who seems he's one good action lead away from doing Clive Owen type roles. I suppose the structure of the picture is very Bourne-esque but it's certainly not as serious. If you're in the mood for some fairly well crafted, fast pace escapism, check it out. You people really need to support this R-rated stuff or they're gonna PG-13 us to death.