CROSSROADS (2002)
Oh Christ, this was such a bad idea...first GLITTER and now CROSSROADS. I guess I get what I deserve when I decide to review two "chick flicks" in the same afternoon. Okay, after the disappointing lack of Mariah skin in GLITTER I was hoping there'd be some near nude Britney in her MTV produced vanity project. Uh, kind of. Tamra Davis (director of HALF BAKED) starts off pretty strong by letting Britney prance around in her bedroom in nothing but a tank top and panties, but then she totally drops the ball after that. Sure, Brit gives another pantie and bra shot and sluts it up at a karaoke contest, but that's about it. We don't even get side boob when her character finally loses her virginity to the hot guy....truthfully, we don't even get a sex scene.
I guess this is supposed to be a review so here's the story: 3 childhood BFFs drift apart as most childhood friends do. One is a nerd (Britney), one is a bitch, and one is the knocked up girl...but don't worry, she's not a slut, she was date raped. They all begrudgingly hook up the day after high school graduation to accompany the pregnant one on a road trip to LA. There's an audition for some music label and preggers plans on getting signed. Brit's mom abandoned her and lives in Arizona (which is on the way) and the bitch's fiance attends UCLA and she plans on surprising him, so they all have a reason to go. Some guy provides the car...he's a musician and was once in jail (for possibly killing a man...which he didn't). They drive, the car breaks down, they win a karaoke contest, get reacquainted with each other, share girl stuff about touching penises and getting date raped, and some other stuff.
I have to admit, I left the room at one point and missed a chunk of the film. My wife tells me that Brit's mom (Kim Cattrall) said she was a mistake and to just forget about her, Brit read her poetry to the driving guy and they wrote a song, the girls did some more bonding, and Brit lost her virginity to driving guy. When I came back to the movie the bitchy one was confronting her fiance and it all came out that he date raped the pregnant girl. Everyone freaks out and the poor pregnant girl falls down the stairs and has a miscarriage. Brit's dad (Dan Akroyd) comes to pick up the girls to take them home, but before they leave, Brit goes to the audition and knocks everyone's socks off with her amazing singing! The end.
The movie was 93 minutes long and had over 20 songs in it...you do the math. I promise to never do anything like this again to myself or to the readers of Gorillanaut. I'm sorry.
Moon Boy