Black Roses - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Metal Blade Records
Do you ever ask yourself, "What the fuck happened to heavy metal?" I know I do. When did all the dudes take a right turn at Albuquerque and end up on the boring, dusty, road to Tom Petty Town? What happens to the World when a generation carelessly tosses their 20 sided die, Headbanger's Ball video tapes, and Fangoria magazines into the trash? What happens to the musical landscape of America when Rock Stars are no longer treated as Gods Of Thunder but as mere mortals? I'll tell you what happens...Metallica won't let Kirk solo in songs anymore, dudes cut off their long hair, chicks stop flashing their tits at concerts, and no one drinks an entire bottle of Jack Daniels in one sitting! What's missing is these days is the "bombast, beer, and babes factor" of the Bronze Age of Heavy Metal (aka The Hair Years). That's why there will never be an LP as great as the BLACK ROSES soundtrack ever again. BANG TANGO, LIZZY BORDEN, KING KOBRA, TEMPEST, HALLOW'S EVE, and BLACK ROSES all on the same fucking record makes for a ripping evening of bong tokes, bench presses, and Budweiser beer! These bands come charging out of your speakers like Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos tore through Nazi Germany! This soundtrack is like an iron boner dropping a load of testosterone right in your earholes, man! Seriously, if there is a 17 year old girl in your house while this record is playing, she will get pregnant and give birth to the most ultimate bad ass guitar wizard since Randy Rhodes! I am not kidding. Don't worry dudes, even though this is a man's record, they were smart enough to include a guaranteed "finger bang" track on side one for your lady friend. So fellow rockers, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of BLACK ROSES...on vinyl, of course.
Moon Boy
