"Jeez kid, I didn't see it. Why don't you ask me about the Superbowl? What are you, some kinda fruit? I'll tell you what's Lost. Any shot you got of getting a piece."

-AJ Arno

"It was okay, better than what I got. Goddamned island people."

-SWAT guy who thinks those who live in public housing with their zombie relatives have it better than he does

"Fine overall. But could somebody, anybody just ask a reasonable fucking question about the goddamned smoke monster?"

-Crossdressing Caveman

"I don't know. I'm not that crazy about the morbidly obese guy. Why hasn't he lost a pound? And where is the one they call Gilligan? Would it hurt to put a chick with a rack in the godamned cast?"

-Baron Vitelius